I think i sorta joined a cult last night
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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