Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
