Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
