i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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