Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
