OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
