All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
