Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
