Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Every concussion has its silver lining
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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