You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
