wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
