Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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