yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
