Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
