I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my sisters under your porch take her home
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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