It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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