dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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