Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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