I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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