Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
