Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
