i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
