I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
