She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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