Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
