I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
