nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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