Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
