How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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