I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
