Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
