im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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