Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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