If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You were trust falling into bushes
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
