LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
