i would punch a child for taco bell
Say something about gay babies.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
