as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
