she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize