i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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