Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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