Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
