I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
