I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
