You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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