Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
