that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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