whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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