I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
