Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
