thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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