I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
you never un-have a 4some
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
